I know I wanted to write more here this year and especially wanted to write something about turning 40 in less than 30 days but I’ll just tell you how much I hate cleaning the shower first.
The truth is I’ve been thinking about turning 40 since I was 35 so the milestone might as well have happened already. I feel like I will probably have a mid-life crisis in the next few years and truthfully look forward to it as a change of pace.
I want to continue to travel but more so with friends than lovers. I see them every day and we work together at home, so again getting out of the house with new faces is the peak of excitement, to say the least.
I want to buy more clothes. Growing up lower middle class (maybe more the former), clothing always felt like a luxury. I would inherit my older cousin’s hand-me-downs sweatshirts and dresses. My aunt would take me shopping as a favor to my mother and bought me a pair of jeans that I could cuff the ankles on. I wore them almost every day of the 5th grade.
Clothing no matter the brand feels self-indulgent to me - I keep pieces until they fall apart or sell them second-hand online. I can’t bear to throw away a perfectly good t-shirt. Cut off the sleeves, wear it to the gym, keep it forever in the drawer: it is a precious jewel only increasing in value over time.
I think I want to get good at my job. It is truly a dream to work from home with my cat get paid a living wage and have extensive PTO. My former retail self is crying from the relief to know that we got to finally get off our feet and into a 9-5.
Outside of that, we’re going on a cruise in March from Los Angeles. I haven’t been to California since 2018 when I went to San Fran for a quick work trip and I haven’t been to LA since 2016 on an 11-hour layover to Australia. I think a lot about how my life would be if I moved out there when I said would. I’m not adding it to the regret pile just yet.
A few things I’ve been enjoying lately -
“i love that for you” on Showtime
1994 playlist inspired by “The Real World: London: rewatch
cold weather hikes
Jeannie B. ASMR (finding the older crowd online has been more than relaxing)
The song Atom by Medium Build (if you click one thing; click this)
meditating on: “your new life will come at the expense of your old life” and how to create time for things I want to do.