It’s been a little while since I updated this corner of the internet – 2023 was a decent year. No major crisis (my typical state of the union to my therapist) and mostly an upward trajectory in work and life.
Notably, I turned 40 years old which was not as big of a deal as I anticipated. Billions of human have turned 40 and just gone on with their lives like they were 39, 29, or 7. My time on the spinning space rock is unknown so assuming 40 is halfway dead is absurd but that is too 4am awake in bed of a thought for this moment.
Forty has been less dramatic than thirty. The year I turned 30, I decided to go to NYC three times in one year to take my mind off of recent events. It worked for a moment, and I don’t regret it — but it was a stressful year and 31 was somewhat less climatic.
Year 40 feels pretty boring for the most part. I tell myself boring is good because most of my life ages 13 to 35-ish was intense for long periods. I don’t think I had anything to chain myself to when I was younger — and when I did, the anchor was chaotic or unclear. My boat feels more secure now and breezes are slight from the West.
My social life is what I miss the most recently – working from home from March 2020 onward has caused my social skills to decline and making friends as an adult is difficult. Many have children that take up a lot of time as they should, but that is no excuse for my lack of getting out of the house. New friends in 2024? It almost feels impossible without the mindset of:
1. I am going to die.
2. Who cares?
3. Make the small talk, even though it sucks.
4. Show up!
5. Profit.
I do want to join a Run Club once I get better at running – and go back to church – both of which would offer community. If I do one of these I’ll be pleased.
Work has been good – I don’t love it; I don’t hate it. I was promoted at the end of 2023 and given a nice raise thus kicking my can down the road for any hope of pursuing an LSW.
I finally told my therapist about this dream of going back to school to be a therapist and she signed off saying I could do it. It lit a fire underneath me for a week then it died quickly like most of my dumb dreams. I think I need to stop having these interludes with dreams because there is a thin line between fantasy and dreaming. I think I sway into the former more — I harbor too much fear which I know bleeds regret. Resolution: NO MORE FANTASIES IN 2024!
With that, let’s focus on some good shit, I can run a 5k without stopping! My time is still slow but for me, this is like running a marathon in terms of goal size. If you told me a year ago that I, Rebecca, could run a 5k without dying…I would have been stunned. I NEVER thought of myself as a runner…runners were high-functioning maniacs…and now I am in the ranks of maniacs out there on a cold day just trying to get it in. Hooray.
I ran for the first time outside since New Year’s Eve the other day. It felt like flying. The treadmill is so boring but it’s allowed me to run slowly which is difficult sometimes in my neighborhood.
I bought a new pair of running shoes and inherited an updated Apple Watch. My goal this year is to increase my weekly volume of running even if it’s just a mile or two more. And run a 10k – not a race – just the distance. Not a fantasy because I’m now addicted to the process.
Did a lot of travel in 2024, going all over Ohio, and surrounding states – PA, IN, and KY. Went out west to LA and Palm Springs. Spent some time in Florida per usual. Nice jaunt in Mexico.
This coming year looks like the Denver area in May, Florida later in the month, Canada, West Virginia, and Tennessee for my b-day.
I am dying to go to Europe/UK again. Scotland mainly but I’d settle for England or Ireland too. Hell, Germany was amazing too. My mom wants to go to Greenland and Iceland in a few years – I’ve been thinking about Greenland since The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.
Okay, so 2023 was a solid year. 2024 – who knows! Just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other and see where it takes me. ✨